*
Undying Love Or Parental Anxiety:
If you’re a parent of an adolescent, you might be familiar with the nature of conflict and communication that defines daily life. In our attempts to understand our teens and do what’s best for them, we often overlook their emotional needs.
We have love for our children. We also have anxiety about their future. The problem is that our children only ask us for love, but we give them our anxiety too. As a result, we start inserting negative thoughts into their heads too.
What if they fall down while riding their bikes, what if they get involved with the wrong crowd? etc etc. It’s important to remember that our anxieties are our responses to the choices we see them making. Our insecurities also stem from our need to always be in control of things related to them.
*
How To Identify Anxiety In Children:
Coping with stress, managing personal physical and mental hygiene, negotiating and resolving conflicts with siblings, balancing online and offline lives – the list of skills a child needs to transform into a successful adult are endless.
Sometimes conflict arises at home for a child. Anxiety comes with the uncertainty of new circumstances that both parents and growing children face. Anxiety arises when both the parent and child refuse to see the other’s point of view.
As they enter middle school, children are eager to meet peer expectations. Sometimes peer expectations can be in direct conflict with parental expectations. What is cool with his peers might be an absolute no no for a child’s parent.
Unresolved conflicts become barriers to learning for children especially if they fail to see other viewpoints in arguments. In such cases, their perspective becomes one-sided and it manifests in unwanted behaviors like disobedience and disagreements.
*
8 Ways Anxiety Shows Up In Children:
*
Get Out Of The Way:
Covid is making us all spend a little too much time with our families, and that too stuck at home. If you find yourself as parent worried about how your kids are spending their online time, perspective helps.
Just as much as you’re worrying about taking care of them, children are equally anxious about not letting their parents down. So voice your ideas and ask them their opinions and how we can all continue living sanely under one roof until this is over.
If mindfulness brings your anxiety, and fear levels down, for your child it might be hanging out on Discord with his friends for an hour. Whatever it is, understanding the alternative angle helps in such cases of trust and expectations. And the shift can happen when we understand how to respond to their behaviors and actions.
*
Being Mindful About Our Anxiety:
One of the most important things we can learn as parents is to master our own stress and anxiety. Children pick up easily on our anxieties and insecurities. Having no rational explanations for the way we’re conducting ourselves around them will leave them confused and stressed.
First, we need to understand that the ambiguity and uncertainty we feel is not a reflection of our parenting style. It’s not a reflection of our parenting ability or competence. Also, it’s important to remember that stress and anxiety are also not related to the abilities and competencies of your child as a good student, or a daughter or son.
It’s a normal part of growth. It’s a normal part of changes that we experience as we evolve each day.
Also, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, child or family. We’re all at different stages of our growth, we’re all work in progress. Because of which we don’t have to judge ourselves so critically. Just accept growth and change as a part of life. Now work towards removing the anxiety feeling which you experience while looking at your child. Just see him for who he or she is.
*
Examples Of How To Manage Situations:
The most important thing we can do is to understand the things that we can and can’t control.
We must understand that anxiety and worry comes from the sense of powerlessness we feel about the things that we can’t control and make any better. We must then learn to live with what you cannot control.
Here are three examples of how we think about situations.
1: I can help my child prepare for the exam, but in the end, can’t control how well he or she performs.
2: I can help my child with his college application, but I cannot control what the outcome will be from those colleges.
3: I can talk to my child about relationships, but I can’t control the relationship choices he or she will make.
Now we can focus on the things that we can control and learn how to effectively resolve them.
The above thoughts can be reevaluated as:
1: I’ve tried having a conversation with him, and I’ve a sense that maybe he will understand my point of view.
2: Well, in the end, my child might end up making a bad choice, but I’m there for him to support him.
3: He’s having this relationship because it’s part of his changing choices and his normal growth pattern.
*
How To Empower Ourselves?
We often mistake our anxieties and worries as a demonstration of our love for our children. We easily get into arguments with them arguing that we’re doing what we’re doing for their own wellbeing.
American parenting is into affirmations and providing nurture for all the things right about their child. Asian parenting tends to focus heavily on what areas need improvement. But, in the end, we all want what’s best for our child wellbeing and optimal growth in all facets of life. After all, we’ve survived our own imperfect childhood, so let’s believe our children will too.
We don’t evaluate what we want for our children vs. what’s best for them. Sometimes, there can be long term benefits to their self-confidence even if it means short term blindness towards their minor infractions. Show that you have faith in them and that it will all work out in the end.
Let’s begin by balancing two schools of thought:
- Pulling them up for their strengths.
- Supporting and being there for them for their weaknesses.
* * *
About The Article Author:
Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away.
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Rachana Nadella-Somayajula,
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
Check Out Our Latest In Mindful Parenting!
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People By Stephen Covey – A Complete Critical Analysis
* * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: https://twitter.com/InvestmentBook1/status/1731502773513163138 * * * Here Are The Steps To Massive Success Define It, Be Intentional About It, Conquer...
Rescuing Our Kids From Discomfort Is A Terrible Idea | Learnings From The Toad & Frog Fables
* * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: --https://www.circeinstitute.org/blog/why-we-need-frog-and-toad-more-ever * * * Future STRONG is a global initiative for personal growth. While you're guiding...
The Art Of Negotiation – How To Persuade And Prevail In Life And At Work
* Whether you're a teen negotiating a curfew with your parents, or an employee in the final stages of accepting a job offer with a good pay package, or working with a client as a supplier - your negotiation and persuasion skills matter. While a good negotiator...
Reading, Math And Socio-Emotional Skills – Make Up 12 Years Of Quality Education In The UK
* * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: Until all children learn to read, do basic math, and gain socio-emotional skills, they won't complete 12 years of quality education.Says the Great Britan that has endorsed...
Big Problems With Smart Phones & Social Media – Increased Anxiety And Impact On Development
* https://youtu.be/2oF0FywuvbM * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: ...
Tips For Social Media Safety To Protect Young Eyes Against Online Violent Content
* https://youtu.be/bhEbY4BKwCM * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: ...
The Grifters Are Coming For Our Gen Z | Losing Money To Online Scammers
* https://youtu.be/jH1CLh7M8Mo * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: --https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpCh5fkJ61Q * * * Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time...
Amber Wright – Confusing Clout Chasing For Parenting | Indian Mom Reacts 🙄 | ONLY Bans | Ep.10.
* * * Find out what the Indian American mom really thinks. Not Your Average ONLY FANS Account #ComedicCommentary #ComicRoast #FunnyRoast Let's get into roasting, but before that read the long disclaimer below. Don't tell me, I didn't tell you so! ...
Deep Fakes Are Being Used To Create Nude Images Of Teen Girls, Can We Do Something About It?
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb-i0f8YGoo * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: --https://twitter.com/AbhishekSay/status/1721088692675072009And--https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bYVC8XdV2w * * *...
The Works Of Michelangelo | Taking Inspiration For Focus In A Distraction Riddled World
* * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: --https://twitter.com/Culture_Crit/status/1729539852582912406?s=20 * * * What Will You Do? If you've got one chance to make a dent in the universe. ...
The Connection Between Mental Health, Independent Play And Unstructured Exploration – For Children AND Adults
* * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Works Cited: ...
Generative AI That Can Harm: Protect Your Digital Footprint And Your Child’s Virtual Privacy
* https://youtu.be/wjLd07xfrRo * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * The Science Behind Our Love For Social Media and Selfies Read more HERE. * How the FANG Playbook, Facebook-Amazon-Netflix-Google Playbook works: None of...
Questions, just ask!
Text or Call: 678.310.5025 | Contact: Fill Form
Bringing a Group? Email us for a special price!
Trackbacks/Pingbacks