*
The Underlying Reasons:
There are two primary reasons why children misbehave.
1. They want attention. They want to feel recognized and their existence valid. If they are not getting enough nurture or care from their care givers, they don’t understand why they are invisible to others.
2. They want power. Children as they grow into tweens and teens want to understand the extent of their leverage. If their opinions are not taken seriously, they begin to withdraw.
*
How To Handle Attitude:
When facing children showing attitude and difficult behavior, it is time to show who the boss it. The trick is to use the “WHEN –> only THEN” approach.
It is important that the child understands that your relationship with each other is a two way street. Even if it means delaying the privilege for them to have whatever they want. Only when we set boundaries and consequences in place, children develop the idea of how the real world operates.
In fact, it is important to have boundaries. Your love is endless but it comes with limits. And by trusting them to take risks within the bumpers of your boundaries, you give them the self-confidence to move forward with their choices under your watchful eye.
*
Tug Of War
*
Why Children Rebel:
When caregivers don’t live by the rules they preach, children start to question the validity of everything.
When children sense that their integrity is being questioned, they rebel. They trust you to put food on the table and provide a safe and secure home to thrive. Similarly, they want you to trust the choices and decisions they’re consciously making.
Children don’t want to be told No. They first want to be explained why something might not be the best choice for them. Also, pushing too hard will be met with push back.
Read more HERE.
*
How Teens Begin To Rebel:
As children turn into tweens and teens, they start to get their first sense of freedom. They like the idea so much so that they start seeking independence. They want to understand the effect of their leverage and pull in society with those around them. Along with this, they also quickly realize that they have to start meeting expectations and obligations.
As a result, they become overwhelmed with responsibilities and start procrastinating. Of course, procrastination leads to anxiety. And then they start resisting, lying and retrieving into their own shell.
Read more HERE.
* * *
About The Article Author:
Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away.
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Rachana Nadella-Somayajula,
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
FREE Parent Workshops
Future STRONG is a global initiative for personal growth. While you’re guiding your children on a path to resilience, independence and happiness, parents, have you thought about “investing in you?” Come join us.
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