Choices Vs. Decisions:
Usually, the main reason why we don’t like to make a choice quickly is because we fear missing out on the best option available or regretting our choice we make now. Also, how can we choose when we might need everything that is being offered to choose from?
In such cases, we need to get to the main theme of our life. What do we really want? That will help us focus on what truly matters rather than on what is being offered. We are better when we are genuinely fulfilled rather than going into a comparison trap of wondering what others think we need.
Decisions ultimately come from desire and a justification based on what we’re expected to do. Decisions seek validation because they are externally focused.
Stuck In Comparison Traps:
Sometimes, we browse pictures of strangers and compare our life to some unrealistic images we see on social media. Our self-esteem and self-confidence are taking a hit, and we probably don’t know it yet. Essentially, we feel like a loser after watching Kim Kardashian’s latest Instagram reel.
We are taking down pictures if they don’t get enough likes. We’re becoming engulfed in comparison traps with friends and strangers alike. We’re using click bait and memes to cope with conspiracy theories and fake news. We’re allowing the sum of the likes to make up the essence of our identity.
What Is Happening As A Result?
Teen suicide rates has increased 46% from 2008 to 2015. Teens who spend 3 or more hours per day on electronic devices are 35% more likely to have at least 1 suicide risk factor. Source: Julie Twenge, 2017
1100 college students commit suicide every year in the US. High standards of life are brought about stupid comparison stories people tell themselves in their head. We only show case our highlight reel on the internet for everyone see. As a result we’re becoming performance and competition oriented, narcissistic, entitled, and obsessed about perfection.
Filters And Endless Scrolls:
The risk of too much time in a comparison trap is extremely low self-esteem. Teens must watch out for signs of brain drain when they’re scrolling endlessly, applying filters to those imperfect selfies or deleting and reposting because they don’t get enough likes.
Their self worth is so much more precious than the uni dimensional picture of themselves they see on Social media. Parents should show their vulnerable side, talk about problems and should be authentic and not strive for the perfect look for their family.
Parents Can Help:
Drunk driving has come down. Teen pregnancies have come down. Teens are having sex much later in life. Fewer teens are looking for summer jobs. This is all great news until we realize, our teens are not leaving our homes to go out to explore real life.
It’s also important to help them understand the sad reality. No one, literally, no one, except probably their own mother, cares about that perfect pose or the number of likes they’ve got on their funny caption.
The reason is most of us in swimming in so much digital debris ourselves that we simply are too busy to notice their perfect shot or details of their past life they want to hide.
Helping our children and teens understand that they are perfect just the way they are is the first step. Let’s help our children feel whole once again.
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About The Article Author:
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
Parenting For a Digital Future
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