On a daily basis, there are things that intentionally and unintentionally happen that break us from within. Because of what others do to us or what we do ourselves, we form a self-narrative of who we are in the eyes of ourselves and others.
We forget that we were born whole and our true nature was meant to be complete and self-sufficient. Here is a reminder that a few steps in the right direction can heal us into becoming whole once again.
Let’s consider this. What do we want in life? Dignity and peace. We want to live with dignity and die in peace.
But how do we live? We live as if we’re going to live forever. We make endless task lists and wrestle with them day in day out.
Turns out, most of the items on this priority list are someone else’s agenda.
The second thing. We don’t say no enough. We can’t say no because we fear repercussions later. We want to belong to an inner circle, so do what we think will help us fit in. We stretch ourselves beyond what we can reasonably do without breaking.
Next, we hold hurt and hatred in our hearts. Just listen to this and tell me how silly it sounds.
I ask you.
“Hey buddy, why are you angry?”
“Oh my mom said something mean to me 10 years ago. I don’t remember what it was now, but I am still mad at her.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Who is carrying the burden of hurt and hate?
Now that’s cup of water that you have been holding way too long that will hurt your hand.
Ok, now you will ask, so how can I live?
It’s quite simple actually.
1. By practicing non judgement and mindfulness.
2. And by acknowledging that chaos is going to be always there inspite of our best efforts to bring order.
Taoists have the Yin Yang symbolism to depict the essence of life.
Yin is the Black serpent representing chaos with a white dot in the center indicating that order can be found even in the midst of chaos.
Similarly Yang is the White serpent representing order with a black dot in the center indicating that chaos can erupt anytime in the midst of order.
See how we are expected to find civility in chaos? That’s life. And there’s nothing broken with you or your life.
So, what can you do going forward.
Here’s a promise you can make.
We open all sorts of drawers throughout the day in our mind. Someone said this, someone didn’t do this, you didn’t live up to your best, yada yada yada.
It’s been a long day. Close all those mental drawers, and get ready to turn a new page tomorrow.
It’s going to be a new day, with new possibilities. Find them and conquer them.
* Kintsugi: The ancient Japanese philosophy of Kintsugi is “to join with gold” and is a reminder to stay optimistic when things fall apart and to celebrate the flaws and missteps of life.
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About The Article Author:
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
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