There are two things that pierce the human heart – beauty and unmerited suffering. Every one of us is chasing happiness and peace in absolute terms. But, isn’t it surprising that the 2nd person to the win the medal on the podium is the most happiest of them all. Because, he is just excited to be there knowing very well, he isn’t at the bottom of the podium and also because he tried his best. And that’s why he cherishes his Bronze.
Happiness can just be a space that provides serenity where you’re doing an activity, you’re passionate about. Understanding happiness comes from unlearning the adopted and borrowed definitions from our past. What do you personally covet? Try to answer that question for yourself. Peace, assets, safety, love or anything else the world wants us to acquire to be deemed “successful”?
In the end, happiness is an intentional choice we can all make. Yuval Noah Hariri, the historian, says that happiness is ultimately used as a goal to achieve are most primal evolutionary needs, survival and reproduction. Happiness is a state of mind and cannot be postponed.
“The notion that a human being should be constantly happy is a uniquely modern, uniquely American, uniquely destructive idea.” – Andrew Weil.
Our modern consumer media gives us a false ideal of happiness. It makes us believe that happiness lies in gifting a loved one a car they’ve been dreaming of, or a diamond that will last forever. It gives us a sense that somehow our ultimate goal must be to be happy.
But what no one really explains to us that we can be inherently happy. The equation of happiness is simple. You go after temporary things; your happiness is fleeting. So why not invest in something that’s long lasting? Like our mental and physical health and our overall sense of wellbeing.
Instead of chasing happiness, an abstract and an ever fleeting feeling, we must raise our children to face failures, and keep trying harder next time. The dopamine rush and the joy will follow.
The most that our loved ones want from us is our time and attention to them. And what is happiness if we don’t have enough time to do the things we love to do. More importantly, there’s joy in colorful things, short things, chubby things just like there’s joy in antiques, falling confetti and chocolate. Are you reaching for it?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
~ Marianne Williamson In The Book, A Return To Love
When you think bliss, in Sanskrit, there’s a term for our ultimate desirable state of being. It’s called Sat Chit Ananda. Sat means being. Chit means full consciousness. And Ananda means rapture: a feeling of intense pleasure or joy.
Happiness doesn’t have to mean just one thing, it can come from a series of events in our life. There are two kinds of happiness: Hedonistic and Eudemonic.
Hedonistic happiness is our daily pursuit of happiness. It’s how we are in search of activities that give us pleasure instead of pain, and things we indulge ourselves in so that we can stay in our comfort zones. Eudemonic happiness is something we derive when we’re striving to seek a greater meaning to our existence. We get that when we are involved in virtuous activities, learning something new and tapping into our higher potential states.
Happiness Every Day:
Finding happiness in our daily life can involve taking care of your needs. And ensuring the wellbeing of your loved ones. Happiness in action looks means the absence of desire in the present moment. Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.
When you’re mindful of small joys, miracles happen. Having a cup of coffee, laughing at your child’s jokes, or chatting with your best friend – these are the things that can feel like amplified moments of pleasure.
You can find daily happiness, by following through with your commitments, nourishing yourself (after all, you cannot give if your cup isn’t full), address the needs of your family and contribute in a meaningful way to the community.
The two most dominant drivers of human happiness are active social engagement and movement through natural terrain.
Smile More Often:
Extrinsically focused happiness relies on circumstances out of our control, and the reactions of others towards us. It depends on our brand new car getting dented by a guy who can’t park well next to you. All these extrinsic factors can make our mind agitated, muddy and impure.
Instead, try to adopt a contented mindset, rather than a complaint oriented mindset. After all, there are only so many things you can control. There will always be things to worry and fret about, but try to find more reasons to smile than not.
Change Your Mindset:
What’s the ultimate aim of our life? At the end, we all want to live without regret of not trying out the things we should have tried. That we have lived well.
You cannot plan to make a connection but you can always set up a date and see how it goes. In the worst case, the date doesn’t go as planned, at the very least, you you’ve tried your best.
The chair or couch you’re sitting on is not comfortable. Instead of complaining, change your situation, sit on the floor or toss the old couch out to buy a new one (if you can afford it). It’s often our internal state that needs fixing than the outer ones.
Change your mindset by removing your own obstacle. Change the language of how you tell your story.
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About The Article Author:
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
CONFIDENCE - A Pillar of FutureSTRONG Academy
Our children will one day face the real world without our support. Academic development is not the only skill they will need in the real world where people skills like taking the lead, emotional intelligence and a strong moral compass will determine who will shine. So, as parents who want to raise well rounded adults, we want to give them the right tools for their personal development.
Here is CONFIDENCE as described as the 6 C’s of Future STRONG.
Find Below Better Strategies On Unstoppable CONFIDENCE
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