66 Positive Things To Say:
How To Connect With Your Child:
Here are a few actionable tips that will help you to connect first and then impose later:
Always listen first: Begin every day with a genuine interest in listening to their voices. Be honest and open about your curiosity, but don’t listen with a problem solving agenda in mind. Reserve opinions and judgment for later.
Laugh a little: Humanize yourself. Show that you take life seriously but not yourself. Learn to laugh a little at their mistakes along with them, instead of correcting them and fixing them every chance you get. Just like them, you’re trying to find out what your purpose is in life. Tell them poverty, grief, divorces exist because we’re all human.
Make a solid connection: When children are strongly rooted with familial ties, they still might be seeking approval from their peers, but they don’t gravitate towards them for advice and modeling behavior. Tell your children, words like “I love you” and “I’m there for you” as often as you can. Ask them, “Because I have expectations from you, its only natural you’ve expectations from us. How can we better parent you?”
Acknowledge infractions: In spite of our and their best efforts, there are times when your child’s behavior doesn’t meet the standards of what you expect them to live up to. Acknowledge these infractions and teach them they are stepping stones for them to move in the right direction. Ignoring them might risk looking complicit and responding might exacerbate the situation.
Promote positive self esteem: Always remember to remind your children of their own self worth and their individual abilities. Tell them how they’ve changed your world for the better and how much they matter to you. A child who has great self worth feels capable of doing whatever they set their mind to. There’s great progress in change and growth.
Talk, talk, talk: Don’t assume that your child is not interested in what you’ve to say. Just like how they want to be heard, they also want to hear from their loved ones. Whether you like it or not, talking about safe sex practices and children’s sexuality is a good idea. Imagine the alternative. Your children get their sex ed from the internet or peers who also learn through hearsay.
About the adult content that’s available so readily on the internet now, I tell my 13 year old, that its upto him what he chooses to believe in. “Real life is boring and real people look normal.” Remember, its our duty as caregivers to plant the seeds of love, connection and hope. In the end, when they will allow these seeds to sprout is upto them.
Read more HERE.
Say This Not That:
Can you use a softer voice?
What a mess.
It looks like you had fun! How can we clean up?
Do you need help?
I’m here to help if you need me.
I explained how to do this yesterday.
Maybe I can show you another way.
Do I need to separate you?
Could you use a break?
It’s okay to cry.
Do you have any questions?
What questions do you have?
How are your feelings?
It’s not that hard.
You can do hard things.
We don’t talk like that.
Please use kind words.
7 Things a Child Should Hear:
Positive Words That Can Change How You See Your Child:
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About The Article Author:
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
Parenting For a Digital Future
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