In Defense Of Motherhood - No One Is A Bad Mother. Only A Good One Or A Spontaneous One.

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As mothers, sometimes, we can get uncompromising in our narrative of ourselves. While fostering those around us in our care, we don’t pause to acknowledge our physical and emotional needs, because there’s always so much to do and things can always be done better. Our thought process is something like this. Even with limited resources and opportunities, our grandmothers ran households and raised many children, right?

Wait, not so fast. Our lives are different now, we are living in two worlds – an online and a real one and the demands to “make it” are higher and are always being broadcast widely. A combination of unrealistic standards for ourselves at home and work and a lack of societal and familial support is already putting us under tremendous pressure to do-it-all. Instead of drowning in stress, moms need to stop their own inner negative dialogue so that we can be more present in our children’s life.

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The Mom Brain

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Mothers who mean well do less. They allow for less distractions, less media consumption, and less time worrying about what ifs. Mothers who know do more of delegating. They involve their children more in chores, spend more time talking, more time doing things that everyone in the house likes.

Children thrive when the mother is physically fit, mentally strong, and emotionally available. Believe it or not, you can ignore the dirty dishes, piles of laundry and slimy kitchen floors to go outside and watch them cart wheel or bike yelling out their favorite songs. Because, no one can be a bad mother – only a good one or a spontaneous one.

The only thing to remember is that if a mother ignores her children, the emotional neglect can be shattering to the child’s development. Moms need to switch off the mommy guilt feeling that – They are not doing enough, somehow the way their life is because of their own fault, wish they had all the time to cook the fresh and best foods, knew how to spend time a little wiser, and did not have all these distractions and desires and become more efficient – and they would make the best moms for their kids.

A Little Girl

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Here’s a question from me to you. Mom, when was the last time you laughed, sang, read and played in excess? A few times in the day, steal pockets of silence so you can realize that you’re still your mother’s daughter in spirit and impact. Don’t be blind to your inner awesomeness.

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You Know You’re A Mom When:

You’ve attempted to deglamorize the life of a war news reporter hoping that your child would never be inspired by them at the same time feeling tremendous survivors’ guilt for everyone dying in war?

You’ve monitored how much you let on to your parents about your whereabouts because they would not get it, but fully expected your child to never hide things from you?

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About The Article Author:

Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away.

I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.

Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.

Rachana Nadella-Somayajula,
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents