Fragile Children In Our Modern World:
As the world becomes increasingly digital, there’s a phenomenon that’s occurring. Our kids are becoming fragile and less resilient to what they’re about to face in the real world of people. So, there’s an urgent need of cultivating the anti-fragile in our children.
When we, as parents, are afraid to say “No” or to give permission to our children to fail, we set up their lives for inevitable failure. This is harsh advice for many to hear, but, please parents, listen up.
REMOVE THE BUBBLE WRAP.
Let them walk in your neighborhood to their friend’s house. Open a bank account for them and allow them to make a sale with the cashier. If they’re in a squabble with their siblings, allow their feelings “to get hurt”. Or now that fall’s arriving, allow them to blow those dead leaves for you.
The idea is simple. Don’t build a fort of protection around them, because it’s unreasonable to think we can be their safekeepers forever. Look around you, so many children from previous generations are not so good at “Adulting”, missing all age appropriate milestones these days. Let’s begin by teaching them that a life without a trophy is not supposed to be traumatic.
Failing Our Children:
A few times a day, we must allow ourselves to fail our children even if it breaks our heart to see them go through missteps. Letting our children to figure out what works and what doesn’t, without us spoon-feeding them every minute, is so important for their wellbeing.
If we don’t allow them to graduate from training to testing while they’re under our supervision, we’re in essence just creating a fake environment of survival for them that’s not in a way a true representation of the real world out there.
Please allow them to create a bank account, start paying for things that are their wants and don’t necessarily fall into the category of basic needs, ride to the store on their bike, get their driver’s license, pay for their own movie tickets online or monthly gym pass etc etc.
The Return On Investment:
What’s the ROI of raising a child who’s confident, resilient and decisive?
The ROI on forgiving others, being a true friend to someone, finding the love of your life and a simple smile from a stranger from across the street is infinite. And, equally boundless is the ROI of raising adaptable children to face a future filled with unpredictability and uncertainty.
Born To Be Wild:
Children are like a bunch of wild flowers. The more you exploit their natural ecosystem to make it “better and right”, the lesser the chances of them flourishing.
Parents who want their children to thrive in the real world of chaos and unpredictability allow more autonomy for them by providing them a safe space to explore and have calculated risks. Parents who know that its better children find out about all possible outcomes to their actions early on let them fail and learn instead of stemming and pruning every thorn (obstacle) along their way.
There’s no right or wrong way to parent your own child. But this is almost always correct. Act in their best interest, trust them with their intentions, let them fail.
The Act Of Parenting Less:
So, here’s the list of things to do in the act of “parenting”: Demand little, pick your battles, show trust, and listen into their silence as well as their speak. Raise them with an intention to turn them into caring, considerate and conscientious adults.
Give them security, so they feel confident to become autonomous. Only give them guidance, so they have a sense of control over their choices.
In the end, it pays to remember that our children’s mistakes are the only way for them to know that we, as parents, were right all along. ;-)
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About The Article Author:
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
Parenting For a Digital Future
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