What Kind Of Parents Do Children Need:
To understand how to parent, let’s begin from the child’s perspective. Children want to be seen and valued. The tender attention they seek can either build or the lack of it can crush their self-esteem.
Whether it is intentional or unintentional, the emotional damage of parental neglect can be long lasting and life altering for children.
So much of how children are nurtured depends on the mental well-being of the parents, especially, the mother. Children thrive when the mother is physically fit, mentally strong, and emotionally available.
Believe it or not, you can ignore the dirty dishes, piles of laundry and slimy kitchen floors to go outside and watch them cart wheel or bike yelling out their favorite songs. Because, no one can be a bad mother – only a good one or a spontaneous one.
What Is At Stake?
As humans, we thrive on connection and find meaning in life through contribution. Our success in school and beyond depends on how we associate ourselves in the context of others.
There is no question that young children who are better at self-control, taking others’ perspectives, resisting digital distractions, regulating their emotions and recognizing emotions in others fare better in their academic development, relationships and their careers.
Every day we don’t begin this journey of taking back control of parenting our children intentionally, we’re are losing precious time to teach our children life changing strategies.
How Home Can Help Children Thrive:
Change starts at home. Change starts from within and radiates outward – from us, then home and then society. While creating a sanctuary at home of compassion, we have control over the conditions that we create at home.
Homes give us an opportunity to showcase what’s important to us and what our values are as human beings. We can set an intention to create an ideal environment for children to thrive and respect us as care givers.
When we can show times and places in our home where we relax and are open minded, children pick up on our patience for listening. After all, they want to be held to calm their worries down. And that’s how we create a secure space for them, where they don’t have to be afraid to be themselves.
Dinner Time can be a time for togetherness. A time to open up beautiful arguments. To create rituals and celebrate traditions. And to show that it’s OK to have opinions.
Compassion Comes Before Communication:
Even if children won’t listen to us, they imitate our every move. And that’s how we can do the right things and show lead them on a great path to success. Leadership has so much to do with common sense, the right attitude and just doing the right thing, always.
Think about it, if you’re nice, warm and friendly, people associate you with being competent and smart. That’s an easy way to assume a power position and following it up with acknowledging others, listening attentively, sharing credit and open to uncertainty.
Show your inspirational and empowering traits. Don’t be afraid to show you’re deliberate and intentional too. Show you’re unstoppable and they can be too!
Can Modern Parenting Sustain a Digital Train Wreck?
As an afterschool program, we’re always looking for fun ways to entertain our children while teaching them essential life skills at the same time. For our over-stimulated and over-gifted children, challenges that keep them engaged longer and sustainably throughout class can be life changing.
We ask for partnership from parents to create environments at home also consistent with what might encourage positive growth and learning in children.
Here are the basics of a healthy and nourishing childhood:
* Love within boundaries
* Encourage to take risks
* Well rounded eating habits
* Plenty of downtime. Let them get bored!
* Chores and duties before privileges
* Parents who value their time
* Digital minimalism
* Timely sleep and bed time rituals
* Delayed gratification
* Clearly defined expectations
In The End, The Present Moment Is All We Have:
Children look to us for their single most need. Safety. They seek our direction to face their most prominent challenges. What might seem like common sense can be a huge learning curve for their growing brains.
Love is not just a want, it’s an undeniable need for our children to thrive in this world. It is a tool in their social interaction toolkit that helps children process their emotions and helps them deconstruct how they’re feeling and why they feel the way they do. So, once in a while, let’s put those phones away to really engage with them.
Our love for our children is ours. Who else will interpret things, dream, question, tinker, and laugh like our own children? After all, our child playing clarinet for 4 hours is just not the same as someone else’s child playing it for even 1 hour. Isn’t it?
Jokes apart, there are sometimes that our blinding love for our children doesn’t allow that proactive parent in us thrive. Remembering that we won’t be there for them forever, however, helps us raise them in a way that invokes independence in them.
When we give them the tools to self-confidence, we empower them. Once they leave the nest, they will leave a gaping hole in it. Our duty is only to make sure their wings are strong enough before they’re ready to fly away.
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