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Here’s Effective Parenting 101:
Tell yourself: “I know there are things I can’t control. So, I will try to do my best to teach them what’s absolutely necessary to survive. If they’re hungry, they should know how to fix a quick meal. If they’ve an upcoming trip, they should know how to do laundry and pack their bags. If they’ve to get ahead in life, they’ll have to learn how to communicate clearly. Only then will they get what is rightfully theirs.”
Other than topics like sexual abuse, substance abuse, self harm, suicide etc, parents should stand on the sidelines and assist children to find their way in the world. Bottom line, unless its life or death, don’t solicit advice.
Our children cannot be our means to success. Too bad if we don’t give them lessons of living in peace and equanimity when they’re little. But we have no right to hold them to our ambitions and unfulfilled desires as they become adults. They might not choose to become a poet or live a flashy lifestyle like us – its upto them how they choose to define themselves.
Our success as parents is simply determined by setting expectations of their autonomy as they enter a certain age in life. And to equip them with the courage to be true to their personal values.
One thing we can do to lead them as a parent every day is by asking them in the morning, “What do you hope to aim for today? What new things do you plan to learn and try today?”
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