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Bitterness & Disappointment About Ourselves:
Hey, I will get to the point straight away. Here’s a question. If you won’t be your own mental warrior, who do you think will?
We all have stories. And some of us are carrying huge baggages from our past that make it impossible to stay in the present let alone contemplate a bright future. If we sit and pick on our wounds, there’s always an origin story for all our sadnesses (If that’s even a word).
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Using Words To Make Peace:
Whatever the case might be, let’s try a few of these.
- This shit is not (entirely) my fault.
- I didn’t know how I could have changed his mind.
- My parents didn’t know any better.
- I tried my best given the situation.
- I am ok just the way I am.
- You don’t have to change the way you eat, smile and talk just so I can feel better about myself.
You get the point?
When our thoughts and feelings overwhelm us, we build defense mechanisms that will keep us from confronting the uncomfortable. We keep crawling back into comfort zones using anchors. Anchors like games, movies, or we start abusing alcohol and drugs. Because it’s too difficult to do anything else about how we feel.
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How To Avoid Falling Back Into The Past:
Past is a different person. It would have done everything differently. So, let’s build our new self starting this moment. This is an outcome focused personal development challenge. So, I want you to engage with me.
Our bodies and minds are so important to act out the change we want in our lives. We can train ourselves to engage and drive the energy we bring to the message of change. Here are some daily actionable tips you can follow to change the narrative of your inner monologue.
• The simple aim is to be #BetterThanYesterday.
• Seek help and delegate.
• Create a shell with gratitude and intention.
• Practice non judgement.
• Define the roles you want to play.
• Are you on someone else’s agenda?
• Plan your day, so it doesn’t slip away and cause lack of control ideas and stress.
• Set an intention at the beginning of each day. Example: I choose to be happy.
• Write down your top 3 non negotiables every morning.
• Before you close our your night, write in your gratitude journal. What went well? Even the smallest wins of your day matter.
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Be Your Own Mental Warrior:
Inspite of our trying our best, sometimes two kinds of thoughts are usually persistent. One that’s directed inward. “Can I do this? Am I capable of living a better life?” The answer is simple, have you tried doing something about it, like a 1000 times before giving up?
The second one is directed outward. “What will others think of me?” OK, this one is a good one. Sorry to burst your self obsession bubble, but I’m equally busy not really thinking about you. LOL.
If you’re 40, you have less than 14000 days left of your life, assuming you will live upto the current American life expectancy of 78 years old. But, nothing’s lost yet. Because, inspite of everything, you are here. You’re alive. So you must not just survive, but thrive. What are you waiting for? Take the reigns and charge ahead!
In the end, I want you to ask yourself “How badly do I want to live a good life?”