Echo Chambers of our Lives:
Like it or not, there’s no escaping the constant chatter of our inner voice or the contentious comments of people on social media voicing their opinions on topics ranging from how to raise children to solving controversial social issues like climate change.
Because of the ubiquity and the free nature of the internet, everyone has a platform, a cause to fight for and a reason to rally behind. There’re more opinion panels on TV than is news these days and more perspectives offered than actual reality itself.
One thing is for sure. If we’re sure we’ve an opinion one way or another, we better look again. Even if it’s our own opinion about our limitations and weaknesses. Not everything within the walls of our echo chambers is accurate.
Power of Four Letters: KIND:
Often, it’s the voice from words, both ours and others, that shapes how we value ourselves.
Why would we talk to ourselves the way we wouldn’t dare to talk to anyone else?
If we can’t sweet talk to ourselves about our strengths and interests, there can’t be a drive for action. That’s why its so important to believe in ourselves.
Kind can sound all soft and mushy, but in reality, it’s one of our strongest defenses. Being kind to ourselves and others unconditionally promotes a deep sense of wellbeing. Despite everything else at the moment, our hearts fill with gratitude for “what is”.
The quickest way to reach that sense of wellbeing is to start with bringing the thought of our favorite person to mind. And when we’re kind to ourselves, we’re free and we allow our favorite people (and strangers) to let go off their baggage too.
How to Build Self Efficacy:
Self-efficacy is a quality of belief in one’s own ability to achieve goals. It’s an essential ingredient in problem solving and navigating uncertainty. And it starts with how we can love ourselves for a. who we are and b. how hard we’re trying to accomplish what we’ve set out to do.
People with low confidence in their abilities are not motivated to learn and challenge themselves to grow. But, as we work to improve our strengths and skills, we start to feel adequate. We begin to understand our capabilities and our full potential. We realize that our competence is not simply a product of our innate intelligence but that of our meticulous efforts. We become positive, confident and learn to forgive ourselves for our missteps. Unlike with low self esteem, self efficacy gives us the ability to take on new challenges because setbacks make us try harder.
Accept that things are going to be hard, life is built for testing our endurance and charge ahead. On the other side of our adversity is our success story. That inner voice that’s stopping you? Crush it.
Being Authentic not Over Confident:
We can train as much and as long as we want, but unless we test it in real life, we are not turning our learning into action. When our training and testing coincide, we’re living our truth.
When we speak and act our personal truth and values, we’re living in an authentic way. We begin to live in a “No conflict” zone, where our thoughts, words and our actions are aligned.
Here’s what can be confusing. “Should I just be one thing to be authentic?” No, our authentic self can be flexible & firm, fierce & forgiving – all at once.
Authenticity is also how we validate ourselves, build our personal brand, and fuel our confidence. Just how well do we know ourselves?
And most importantly, how can we be anything BUT ourselves? If I don’t want to be what others have defined me to be, then who is my TRUE self?
Finally, there are dangers in personal narratives. Watch what you tell yourself what you are and what you are NOT capable of. Here’s a question.
Who have you allowed to decide that you’re NOT good enough?