Resolving the struggle:
Most of us, not including those who’re lucky to be enlightened, don’t want to live in the present moment, because we don’t accept life as it has manifested itself.
We then find ourselves in conflict with the moment. When our needs and desires, as we’re experiencing them, are not met in the immediate future, conflict arises.
Here are some things you can do to resolve the struggle.
Find perspective: Just how many times in your life so far have you had the “biggest problem of your life.” And now you can’t recall even one of them in its entirety. Real life is boring, monotonous and difficult. Everyone has lost a loved one.
Find the triggers: Do you hold blinding rage against someone? Do you want to respond to an offensive post about you that someone posted online? What hurts? The truth or the way its been delivered? What’s causing you to react?
Don’t over-think: Don’t resolve to just sort out exactly what you’are thinking and how you’r feeling. Just stop being so preoccupied with yourself and how you’re feeling.
Paradox of choice: We live in a world of information and choice overload. Our senses are being assaulted by a lot of options from which we can be choosing from. More than ever, its very easy for us to follow where the next sensory stimulation is coming from, and it starts with the notifications on the phone. Can you really afford to be living in such pockets of distraction?
Think ahead: Think of all the self judgment and regret you will face for going with your feelings or emotions than the needs and the call of the present moment. you should be checking messages, but you don’t want to, and you start feeling guilty.
Expectations gap: We live constantly wondering if our dreams will be left unfulfilled and our expectations of others unmet. But, are expectations just our projections of our own short comings or wants onto others?
Clear the illusions: Remember, we act as if the threat of loss is more important the peace we already have. Try telling yourself the radical notion that present is better. Go with the Flow. Life is unpredictable. We have to change and act according to the flow of events.
Open up: Instead of living in constant combat with what’s evolving around you, just open up. Soak in every experience. Accept, don’t turn down. There’s more peace and less conflict that way. Don’t resist the moment, instead see the plentiful in it.
Monsters of the past: Some adults who’re parents now have grown up with adverse childhood experiences, like physical abuse and emotional neglect. They might have been victims of divorces, separation and parents struggling with mental illness or addictions. Such terrible events can sometimes make parents incapable of putting their past behind and do their best for the children in their care. But, isn’t our current train of dismal thoughts compromising the love and time we’re capable of giving our loved ones?
Challenge stereotypes: From the father, a child learns the attitude of perseverance and hard work. From the mother, a child learns to believe in the institution of love and nurture. But most family units now don’t follow traditional definitions of the by gone times. Many families are disjointed. But, having a simple definition of the modern family can help. Let this sink in: “A family is all the people who live collectively in a household.”
Find the habit: Try going back to the experience of joy and the abundance of the present moment. Find yourself grateful for what you have and how you’re appreciated. There’s so much calm and power in the practice.
Self regulation: Self regulate your emotions, control impulses, follow through your practice. Process new information without immediately following through with your impulses. Strengthen your attention muscle to stay on difficult tasks.
Turn the external noise down: Within a few minutes of waking up turning on the news or checking your social network feeds, try turning them off and see if your life has changed. Turn down the mind chatter that tells you that you’re not trying hard enough. Judge less, accept more that you’re trying your best.
Thrive in love: Seek responsibility and accountability in the love you owe the people who rely on you. Let go of all thoughts of hurt and harm that you’ve been subjected to in the past. Simply feel how you feel and know that it is O.K. Let your love flow, free of mental clutter. Every day is a new day with the chance to make it all right.
Actionable tips on how to be mindful:
Mindfulness is associated with eliminating sporadic thoughts that occur that are unrelated to the current task at hand. It is not. In fact, it is simply our ability to decide whether we will nurture that secondary thought or let it go.
Here are some actionable tips for you to learn how to be in the now, and practice mindfulness as often as you can.
Label your thoughts: We anticipate how we will be treated by others and circumstances and do our best to avoid them. If you sense the rise of your emotions in a strange or painful situation, give them names. Is it sadness, panic, joy or excitement. Acknowledge the emotion before you respond or react. Consciously labeling your thoughts actually reduces the impact of the emotions that follow.
Increase self awareness: Feelings and emotions are intangible. So turn the dial up on how your physical sensations are at the moment. Bring your attention to the tips of your toes or see how the weight of your hands feel in your lap. Understand of how you really feel. Your physiological discomfort can be simply because of the hard chair you’re sitting on or the volume of the song that you’re child is playing.
Check in often: Observing your feelings and be still once in a while. Emotions need acknowledgement for them to go away. They don’t need you to be grasping at them or holding onto them. If you don’t let them go, they will try wriggling out and become monsters.
Embrace the dinner table: Gather around the dinner table each night to share ideas, love and food while being fully engaged.
Be the child: Children live in the present. Adults live in the past and future. That’s the fundamental secret between children and their unperturbed bliss. Practice becoming a version of that child you once were.
Just breathe: Get away from it all, and just sit still for a few minutes and take deep breaths. If you have a few minutes, try Meditation. Yes, I said that bad word – Meditation. Learn how to meditate.
Return from relapse: Constantly checking in with ourselves helps us identify when we’ve drifted. The art of gently bringing back our focus without judgment or reproach, is called the practice of mindfulness.
Extend your brain: If some thought or an important task is pressing down on your head, simply write it down on a piece of paper. There are amazing benefits to extending your brain this way.
How long ago did you stop to just smell the fresh breeze after a rainy afternoon? When was the last time you actually truly tasted the food between your teeth.
What is living in the now?
Read about what mindfulness is and why it is such a struggle to live in the now.
Why should we live in the now?
I don’t mind what happens. That’s my secret. ~ Jiddu Krishna Moorthy