*

 

Last night, I went to a Zadie Smith book signing event at the SCADshow theater. This event was part of Zadie’s book tour promoting her new essay collection, Feel Free.

She was interviewed by television journalist Gail O’Neill on topics like race, her biracial upbringing and the writing process. She then answered questions of the audience including mine on parenting.

 

*

Zadie Smith on Parenting: 

 

I don’t have a lot of theories about parenting. I think, like with my parents, they were busy doing other things and working most of the time. Parenting as a verb was I think not my parents main concern. They had other things going on, they were at war with each other and you know they had all these things I guess that seem bad on paper. Right? But my experience of that is that it doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.

I think parents don’t matter as much as they think they do. I hate to say that but, my real life and my brothers real life was our neighborhood, our friends mostly. Parents are great of course, because they have that strong influence on you in the early years. But if you’re living in a city, and you’re a parent, I think you’re deluding yourself if you think you’re having an influence on your child one way or another.

So, I kind of take that attitude, to an extent, and let my children do their own thing. Otherwise you’ve this delusion of power to think that you own them or can control them and form them one way or another. And they won’t thank you for that kind of an existence, its like living under an authoritarian state, you know.

So, I try to be a little more Laissez-faire. (Encyclopedia: Applied to parenting, this French term refers to a permissive style in which parents avoid providing guidance and discipline, make no demands for maturity, and impose few controls on their child’s behavior.) And I allow most importantly for the idea that they’re not me. They’re just not me. They don’t like the same things I like, they might never like the same things I like. And that’s OK.

And yeah, also that, I don’t know you can’t really say this in America, but the damage is not the worst thing is either. There’s a cute misery is not the worst. There are other things like trauma that’s all terrible, but ordinary unhappiness is not the worst thing that can happen to your children. That was the worst thing that happened to me, and it was OK. So, with that in mind, I try not to be too stressed out about it.

 

*

 

 

* * *

About The Article Author:

Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away.

I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté

Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like. 

Rachana Nadella-Somayajula,
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents

Best Book Recommendations And Reviews

 

Live life through the lens of others, imagine the impossible. Dwell in books.

Become Legendary: Pick Up Grit On The Way To Greatness

Become Legendary: Pick Up Grit On The Way To Greatness

*   "To be gritty is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. To be gritty is to hold fast to an interesting and purposeful goal. To be gritty is to invest, day after week after year, in challenging practice. To be gritty is to fall down seven times, and...

read more
Print Reading vs. Digital Reading: To Read Or Not To Read

Print Reading vs. Digital Reading: To Read Or Not To Read

* Print reading vs. Digital reading:   There’s so much scope for distraction when we’re reading on a device with unlimited possibilities to surf. Can we conclusively tell if reading on paper or a device is better? While digital media is convenient and cheaper to...

read more
Life Must Go On In Spite Of War

Life Must Go On In Spite Of War

*   How can you pick up a book whose title gives away the ending yet keep reading till you finish it? That’s the beauty of Anuk Arudpragasam’s prose in his novel, The Story Of A Brief Marriage. The book is the life in a day and night of Dinesh who is fleeing the...

read more
Bibliomania: Beg, Borrow or Buy – II

Bibliomania: Beg, Borrow or Buy – II

* Continued from Part I * * * * * *   Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away. I see myself as an advocate for bringing...

read more
Standing up to Amy Schumer

Standing up to Amy Schumer

*   Amy Schumer is a stand-up comedian whose “brave” material mostly consists of musings about her hookups – sexual encounters with relative strangers. And below is my review of her 2016 memoir, The Girl with a Lower Back Tattoo. Since finishing it yesterday...

read more
Bibliomania: Beg, Borrow or Buy

Bibliomania: Beg, Borrow or Buy

* * *   * * * Continued in Part II Best Book Recommendations And Reviews   Live life through the lens of others, imagine the impossible. Dwell in books.Questions, just ask! Text or Call: 678.310.5025 | Email: info@futurestrongacademy.com Bringing a Group? Email...

read more

Questions, just ask!

Text or Call: 678.310.5025 | Email: info@futurestrongacademy.com

Bringing a Group? Email us for a special price!

%d bloggers like this: