Who’s an Ideal Parent and Why Can’t We All Be Them?

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Who Is An Ideal Parent? 

Ideal parents empower their children to believe in themselves and encourage them to realize their highest potential. An ideal parenting scenario is being the best parents we can be, while keeping our cool factor intact. An ideal parent: 

1. Is one who’s emotionally available, gives freedom with limits, and loves unconditionally while setting clear expectations.
2. Encourages good behavior and models his own behavior into the ideal one he expects his child to follow.
3. Empowers the child to build skills and courage while watching them from the sidelines.

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An ideal parent also,

• Makes his children feel like they matter. 
• Is inclusive of the child while making decisions involving the child’s future.
• Is genuinely curious about the child’s thoughts and ideas.
• Hugs first and asks questions later.
• Doesn’t create the terror of high and unrealistic expectations for their children.
• Doesn’t show their disappointment when his child fails to meet expectations.
• Encourages her child by sharing the stories of her own struggles. 
• Realizes that its a big deal for his child who wasn’t invited to sit with friends at lunch.
• Values his child’s opinions and abilities.
• Recognizes the child’s natural aptitude and encourage them in that direction.
• Lets children sort things among themselves and doesn’t jump into rescue.
• Respects the individuality of a preteen as they start to pull back from them.
• Is a consistent, predictable and responsive care giver.
• Is present for the child first without judgment and next within reason.
• Educates her child in academia, morality, emotion and spirituality. 
• Listens to the child with her heart and puts herself in the child’s shoes.
• Is not overwhelmed with real life and spends 2 minutes for a bed time story.
• Doesn’t believe that every activity has to be for the child’s enrichment.
• Believes that for a child’s optimal growth, there must be room for horseplay.

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Why Can’t We All Parent The Ideal Way? 

We often find ourselves in conflict to be in the moment. When our needs and desires, as we’re experiencing them, are not met in the immediate future, conflict arises. 

Our rational mind is telling us that something must be done in the real time that we’re in. At the same time, our emotional and physical needs are telling us that we must be doing what we enjoy. 

Then there are factors that are out of our control.

Our businesses might be collapsing. And our lives might be revolving around money that we don’t have enough of. But how sad is it if children are the victims of the crises that the adults in their lives are experiencing? 

From the father, a child learns the attitude of perseverance and hard work. From the mother, a child learns to believe in the institution of love and nurture. But most family units now don’t follow traditional definitions of the by gone times. Many families are disjointed. But, having a simple definition of the modern family can help. “A family is all the people who live collectively in a household.”

Some adults who’re parents now have grown up with adverse childhood experiences, like physical abuse and emotional neglect. They might have been victims of divorces, separation and parents struggling with mental illness or addictions. Such terrible events can sometimes make parents incapable of putting their past behind and do their best for the children in their care.

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Conclusion: 

Here’s a scenario. You won’t be hand holding your child to his first date or to his first job interview. While you can’t be there with them physically all along the way, as they mature into adults, the least you can do is teach them the values that they can carry with them.

OK, our lives are not ideal for us to be ideal parents. But, we can always choose to cut our losses and strive to do a better job tomorrow. We’ve been given a chance to make a positive difference in the little person who’s literally put his life in your hands. 

Ultimately, the standards of ideal parenting can come at a personal cost of burn out. That doesn’t mean, we’ve to be so selfless and giving that we lose much of ourselves in the process. But, isn’t it our duty to raise them into compassionate and successful adults?

So, can we start by making an effort to understand them?

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