*
The Most Powerless Minority:
My son is changing his flat tire on the side of a long, desolate road in the middle of a rainy night. He’s 25 and he seems to know what he’s doing. But, I’m not there for him. In fact, I’m oblivious to his fate and getting ready for bed a few thousand miles away.
This is a recurring dream that renders me helpless most days. But this dream also makes me want to learn their changing style of communication with us as they grow each day. It pushes me harder to teach them how to navigate this beautiful life of theirs. After all, I won’t be there for them forever.
Children form the largest and most powerless minority in the world. Yet, these children are the ones whose future will sustain our planet. Their lives seem to be surrounded by rules, expectations and obligations that are designed to impress adults who raise AND don’t raise them.
So, can we make an effort to understand them?
*
What Children Assume:
They start out their lives with an unconditional positive regard for everyone around them. They assume that we’re doing our best at any given time. Otherwise they would’ve asked us, “Mom and dad, I don’t feel loved enough, can you love me more?”
*
What Children Wish Parents Knew:
Not being invited to sit with friends at lunch, or not being invited to a birthday party is a big deal to them. When others are having mad fun without them, the feeling of ostracization is misery to them.
Even though it doesn’t seem like it and they don’t seem to not care, they’re always trying to measure themselves upto you. They value themselves depending on how they think we view them and their abilities. They feel the pressure to excel, and to be accepted both by you and their peers.
There’s one thing that they don’t need to be nudged on. That thing that they’re good at, enjoying doing and have a natural aptitude for. They want you to pick up on that and encourage them in that direction.
*

Why Children Have Meltdowns
*
What Children Fear:
High and unrealistic expectations create terror and not comfort in children. When they fail to meet our high expectations, they not only feel like they’ve disappointed us, but they’ve let themselves down in the process.
They fear being invisible to their loved ones. They fear being rejected. They fear tears of shame and disappointment from you.
And to compensate, they’ll rebel outrageously or work themselves to massive burn out. Both scenarios are not sustainable and can be dangerous for their self worth.
*
Why Children Rebel:
When caregivers don’t live by the rules they preach, children start questioning the validity of everything.
- They don’t want to be told No, before being explained why something might not be the best choice for them.
- Pushing too hard will be met with push back.
*
What Children Don’t Understand:
- What more important things could be happening on your phone when they’re around.
- How you can be so busy that you can’t read them a 2 page story at the end of the night.
- If you’re not changing their lives, what else are you doing?
*
What Children Crave:
- They crave human connection in the form of bodily contact.
- They crave arms that hug to show care and love.
- They crave a consistent, predictable and responsive care giver.
- They crave for our presence just like how we crave for theirs, except they do it without judgment.
- They want their lives to be seen in the context of a meaningful relationship.
*
How Children Thrive:
When children find themselves the center of attention of their parents or their caregivers, it lifts their sense of self immensely. They want to know they matter.
- They want to feel the weight of your arms around them and the scent of your presence in their surroundings.
- They develop their courage if they know you’re always watching them from the sidelines.
- Simply sharing a joke with them when they’ve your complete attention can mean the world to them.
- They thrive when you empower them to believe in themselves and encourage them to realize their highest potential.
*
“The recipe for fun is pretty simple when raising boys: Add to any activity an element of danger, stir in a little exploration, add a dash of destruction, and you’ve got yourself a winner.” – In Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.
* * *
About The Article Author:
Our mission with FutureSTRONG Academy – to grow children who respect themselves, their time and their capabilities in a world where distractions are just a click or a swipe away.
I see myself as an advocate for bringing social, emotional and character development to families, schools and communities. I never want to let this idea out of my sight – Our children are not just GPAs. I’m a Writer and a Certified Master Coach in NLP and CBT. Until 2017, I was also a Big Data Scientist. In December of 2044, I hope to win the Nobel. Namasté.
Write to me or call me. Tell me what support from me looks like.
Rachana Nadella-Somayajula,
Program Director & Essential Life Skills Coach for Kids and Busy Parents
Check Out Our Latest In Mindful Parenting!
The Writer-At-Large Series – Life Is Stranger Than Fiction.
When Life Happens, You Write When you’re a writer-at-large, you let life happen to you. That way, you let your eyes steal everything that you see, put a spin on it and spill onto paper / machine some “stream of consciousness” kinda cool stuff. And if I am a...
Our Children Have Many Worries, Find Out What They Are {Video}
* https://youtu.be/y9ChCzYFiSg * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Cited Works: Survey Can Be Found HERE: https://www.nemours.org/well-beyond-medicine/what-s-worrying-america-s-kids-survey.html...
The 8 Types Of Hunger And The Art Of Mindful Eating
* EYE HUNGER Eye hunger is triggered by food that you see. It can be other people who are eating, food that you see on the table or counter, seeing adverts, recipes and pictures of food. Other examples are food displays in delis, markets, restaurants or...
Effective Parenting 101: For Parents And Children Of The Technology World
* For parenting to be effective, we need to first understand and adjust our mindset. What are our fears for our children, do we love them for who they are or what they're capable of becoming? What do we truly want as parents? Let's look at a few things we do...
Here’s How To Have Positive Mental Health At Any Age Inspite Of Developmental & Life Changes
* What Is Positive Mental Health? When we're talking about mental health, we must go beyond psychopathology. Psychopathology is mental illness. How to check for positive mental health? Answering the question once in a while if "I'm doing everything I can in my...
How To Use AI In Education – For Teachers And Students – Part II
* Continued From Part I: Find it HERE. * QUESTION III: What are some ways that educators can integrate Al in their STEM teaching? Please give specific ideas and examples. Sometimes, tools that we as teachers want to use might be blocked by the...
How To Use AI In Education – For Teachers And Students
* QUESTION I: How has Al made an impact in K-12 education in general and in your learning environment specifically? AI is helping us take a critical look at how we're doing things and also is helping us by taking some load off of us. Let's dive in. AI is so new...
Everything You Need To Understand The Relevance Of STEM Education For Our Future Generations
* What Is STEM? According to Live Science, STEM is a combination of four academic disciplines: science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. These are critical to a child’s education and later adult development. While children tend to believe that...
GPA Might Help Make A Living But Teens Need Life Skills To Make A Great Life
* Here’s a checklist of all the life skills a high schooler must be exposed to before he or she is sent off to college. Why a checklist? High achieving youth are fast becoming the biggest “at-risk” group of the world. With a weak resilience muscle and a lack of...
The Surgeon General Says Loneliness Can Kill. Here’s What We Can Do About It. {Video}
* https://youtu.be/0GjHmfVJWAM * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Cited Works: ...
Rise Against Hunger – Helping Create A World Without Hunger
* Talk about a global impact! The thousands of meals packaged at your Rise Against Hunger Experience will provide nourishment for those who need it most. In Gokwe North, Zimbabwe, there was a school dropout rate of 40% due to socioeconomic challenges from low...
Our New Coworkers Are Not Humans. They Are Humanoids – Apollo And Benzie.
* https://youtu.be/pvB_HLJEQ9s * Want To Listen To The Article Instead? * Cited Works: https://nypost.com/2023/09/05/apollo-the-humanoid-robot-starts-moving-boxes-in-warehouses/ ...
Questions, just ask!
Text or Call: 678.310.5025 | Email: info@futurestrongacademy.com
Bringing a Group? Email us for a special price!
Beautiful article!